Sunday 23 September 2012

Sweet retweets

I have a confession to make - I have never understood why, when it is someone's birthday, we often say to them, "many happy returns!". Nobody else seems to have a problem with it, but to me it doesn’t really make sense.

I looked up this phrase in a dictionary, and all it gave as a definition was, "just something that people say to others on their birthday, but nobody even knows why lol". This was the same dictionary that had removed the word "gullible" from its pages mind you.

Nevertheless, when it comes to that special day when we celebrate the fact that x number of years ago, you caused your mother unspeakable pain before slithering out of her distended vagina, I still say this confusing phrase to people. But when I do, it's always slightly hesitant in case they reply with, "excuse me, but what does that even mean?"

The only explanation I'd be able to give is, "Erm, well, yeah, obviously by 'many happy returns', I mean that your presents all look pretty rubbish, so I hope you really enjoy returning them for something better. Here's the receipt for my gift by the way. Yeah I know, but it looks more expensive, right?"

This morning I tweeted something to this effect (though obviously it was much more condensed thanks to the 140 character limit). I was thrilled that it got a couple of retweets.

For those of you that aren't familiar with Twitter (here I'm thinking of you mum, and also the person who has accidentally ended up on my blog because the Toby King they googled was the Panamanian reggae singer and not the renowned artist, photographer and blogger who’s a bit up himself), a retweet or 'RT' as it's known in the world of Twitter where every unabbreviated word takes up precious space, is where somebody reads a tweet and likes it so much, they consequently decide to share it with their followers so they might enjoy it too.

Some people can get really quite obsessed with getting RTs off of others. The tacit approval they represent can prove quite addictive. For me it's especially true when you tweet something that could be deemed as rather obscure like my many happy returns joke. I get quite a a euphoric and reassured feeling when it turns out that other people might be on the same wavelength as me. Maybe I’m not quite such a freak after all!

If you post something that you think is funny, but it gets no RTs or any other responses at all, it kind of feels like you've made a joke in a crowded room but the only response is deathly silence (and probably an embarrassed cough, some awkward shuffling and the distant sound of a mewling infant).

So conversely, when it seems to resonate with other people too, it's like your head fills with canned laughter and you feel accepted and validated somehow.

Although they are nice and often genuinely warm my heart, over the years I have learned not to get too hung up on RTs or the absence of them. I know from my own experience of reading tweets, sometimes you see something you enjoy and it may even make you laugh, but still you don't RT it.

There can be several reasons for this. Sometimes my attention has already been grabbed by the next tweet, or I've already RTd lots of other people in a short time and feel like I've done my duty for a while. Sometimes I've lost signal on my phone or had to put it away abruptly as somebody else needs to use this toilet cubicle. And there are even times when I decide something is far too funny for its own good so there's no way I'm going to share that because I'm cross I didn't think of it myself.

Despite being aware of these and many other reasons why people haven’t shared our jokes, we still appear to think that we have developed super-powered magical abilities where we know exactly what other people are thinking about us!

If we get a RT, people think we’re super cool! If we don’t, everyone hates us! We build this false image in our head of how we think we are perceived by others which is always bound to be warped and fall short of the truth.

More than once I’ve tweeted something that I thought was hilarious but didn’t get a single response. So I ended up thinking to myself, actually yeah, that was pretty lame. But then, a while later a couple of people did RT it after all. Suddenly my mindset has changed as I then think to myself, actually I knew it was funny. I can be such a fickle, insecure so and so.

In summary, although no response to a tweet can sometimes feel like a deathly silence, its still likely that is was actually enjoyed nonetheless. And if it wasn’t, who cares? It’s only flipping Twitter!

Now, contrary to the above, sometimes a RT is quite the opposite of a sign that it was approved of and enjoyed. Some people, especially one of my followers in particular, will RT something and often follow it up with a disparaging comment.

Generally I've got no problem with this, especially when someone has expressed what to you seems to be a ridiculous, extreme view. A RT can be the easiest way to highlight it and say, "crikey, look what this wazzock has just said!"

But it does seem almost cowardly if you consistently do so, without then also addressing your concerns to the original tweeter. Mocking someone whilst trying to remain anonymous is just snide (and consequently my nickname for the person who does this bitching from the safety of their own tweets is Snidey Sniderson - one more to add to the list in my previous post - which incidentally, I’m still not going to reveal the identities of, so don’t ask).

Ultimately, as with anything in life, it's the process of actually doing it, of coming up with a humorous tweet that should be enjoyed, not any plaudits that may follow it (however much they might stroke one’s ego).

Having said that, now all that remains for you to do (except for you mum and the reggae fan) is RT this post because you enjoyed it so much!

*silence*

Hello? Hello!?

*taps screen*

Pah! Seriously? Screw you guys. 

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